The Officiant Meeting!

What should you expect when you are first meeting with an officiant, someone you are interviewing about being your officiant? I've been asked this a lot lately, so thought I would talk about it today. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but this is what you should expect from a meeting with me...

Ultimately, the goal, in my mind, is for us all to decide if we are the right fit for each other -- will you end up with the type of ceremony you want for your wedding, and am I someone you would want to work with to do so. I think that undefinable "fit" is absolutely essential in a few vendors for your wedding -- your wedding planner/coordinator, your photographer, your DJ, and your officiant! If these folks don't understand you and what you really want from your wedding, it will be much tougher to actually get that as a result.

First of all, this initial meeting tend to be about 45 minutes to an hour, and in my case, I try to make it someplace convenient to you, which tends to mean a nearby Starbucks or Coffee Bean. Hey, they're all over, so there's always one nearby, right? And, I feel it's important for both of you to meet with me. I've had one situation where it was only the bride, but that was to check me out first, and be sure it was worth the groom's time. Luckily, she quickly decided that it very much was, so I met with them together not long after (and their wedding was three weeks ago, actually!).

The first question I will ask is for you to fill me in on anything that you know you want from your ceremony, and just as important, anything that you know you don't want from your ceremony. This is both in terms of content and style or tone. This also includes religion. Honestly, most couples come to me, or someone like me, because they are not looking for a religious ceremony. But that doesn't mean that you don't want any religious content or pieces, and I never want to assume either way. Some want none at all, some want a touch, and some want a little. Because I am not religious clergy, and my focus tends to be on the relationship and the love you share, religion is not my "first language" in the wedding ceremony. That means that we can add religion-related words or pieces in, if you want or need, but it never starts in there, so there's no worry about having to take it out if you don't want it. At this point in the conversation, I will also ask if there are religious family members that you have to take into account, and knowing that, I will make suggestions for various ways we can cover that.

Secondly, we'll talk a bit about the size of the wedding (especially number of guests), as well as if you want participation by anyone else other than the three of us. Both of those affect some of the ideas we may talk about, for readings and other pieces we may include...

Next, we'll talk about my process and how I tend to work, so you have an idea of what working with me on creating your custom ceremony will be like. I will post more about my process at a later date. While we are talking about this process and what to expect, though, more ideas are coming up about things you may want to do or include, or consider doing/including.

Again, the end result of this initial meeting, for me, is not to have decisions made -- you do not need to know what you want in your ceremony by the end of that 45-60 minutes. But rather it's to know that you want to move forward in working with me to create that ceremony with you, and to have some things to think about along the way. Also, to feel confident that my process will get you to your desired ceremony in the end, whether you have any idea now what that includes or not. We should all leave that meeting excited to work together, and looking forward to creating something together.

Does this help? Are you looking for an officiant to work with on your wedding who will create something custom, fun, and personal with you? Then let's meet! Now at least you know what to expect from that meeting...

Cheers,
Bethel